It is hard not to be reflectful today. December 2 2011 was not the worst day of my life. That took place two weeks latter on December 16. After two weeks of surgeries, heat blankets, posturing, breathing machines, and many other aggressive treatments, many experienced and educated doctors and nurses told Ellen and I that future treatment was pointless. Survival chances were slim, and any sort of quality of life for Brian non-existent. Future treatment, not recommended.
How does a parent process this information? Yep...worst day of my life. If you are reading this, you know by know that they were wrong. Three years latter, Brian is doing very well. Prayers from all over the world are being answered every day.
Someone made a comment to Ellen that this December must be so much happier than that December for us. That person is right. However, the darkest time of those days are not that far from our memory. The few joys from December 2011 came from all the community support we received. We knew that people would get us anything that we needed. I think that we never bought a meal that month and most of January. The donations and the Statesboro concerts helped our financial needs tremendously.
As Brian has gotten better, the amount of need we have has dwindled. Insurance and a grant from the Georgia Brain and Spinal Injury Trust fund have covered his medical and therapy expenses. God has kept us all strong and our faith is keeping us going. Brian's determination has taken care of the rest.
That being said, some things are hard. Brian has noticed that other kids see him as different. I take pride that he is an inspiration to many folks. To many kids his own age, well - they just do not know what to make of him. I predict that being treated differently is something that Brian will have to deal with for some time. He does have a number of kids that do sincerely like him and hang out with him...and that is a blessing.
Via Facebook and in person, I have seen other kids doing the things that kids do. It is hard for Brian to do many of these things. Playing sports, piano recitals, academic rewards at school are all things that Brian should be doing and celebrating. He has to spend 6-8 hours a week doing therapy just to be able to walk and use his hands in a somewhat useful way. This is in addition to school and homework. These hours should be spent playing ball or learning a musical instrument. Life is not fair..... that is true. But it is life.....and I will take that any day over the alternative.
I have signed Brian up to play basketball in a church league. The act of dribbling, shooting, and jumping are all things that help in his motor skills, and can assist in his therapy. It is also another chance for him to be around kids in a structured format. He needs a patient coach and understanding parents also on the team. Unlike the baseball league he played it - it is with kids his own age and it will not be adapted. He is tall enough that he should be able to rebound pretty well. I continually pray that it is an enjoyable experience for Brian and for the other kids. I have also signed him up for an adapted swim program with a former para-olympian through Blaze Sports. That starts this weekend. Main purpose is to teach him to swim in deeper water. Finding the time for a private swim lesson for him has been a challenge. Both basketball and swimming - will be trial and error. Both may work, or both may be a disaster. We are determined to keep trying things.
On a major positive note, the Walton Foundation. This is an organization based out of Augusta GA with a mission to promote Independence to children and adults that have a disability. They sponsor an annual camp that Brian has attended the last two years. They used a blurb about Brian's story in a year end fundraising campaign. They have gotten a number of donations citing the Brian's story as the reason they gave or gave more than usual. One of the donations was $1,000. Brian can inspire people to do good things. That makes me proud to be his dad.
So moving forward....we still need support - just of a different kind. Prayers, love, understanding, and patience are the things we continue to move forward. Life is hard. Life with a TBI or being a family member or caretaker of someone with a TBI is all that much more difficult.
Thank you all for your support the last three years and two weeks....and we request for future prayers and support even though the issues are considerably different, Just knowing that people care still matters and always will.
In closing- (forgive the curse word) I saw a shirt that was designed for TBI survivors. it says "God does not give us more than we can handle. God must think I am a bad ass."
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
