A Full Recovery? Something better.

Brian and some of the other players and coaches in the Adaptive Soccer Practice

Two separate people on two consecutive days last week asked if my son has had a full recovery.  The people were well intentioned in both cases.  This is not a question I get often, but it happens.  That it happened twice in the span of 24 hours got me thinking.   How do you answer that?

Is Brian the same boy that he was Fall of 2011 - before the accident?   No.  Has he recovered physically and cognitively all of the same abilities he had before the accident?  No.  Will he ever?  it is hard to say no, because he continues to make progress in those areas so much.  Truth is, many things will continue to be physically and cognitively hard for him for some time to come.

My answer to the question about a full recovery was as follows.  I don;t think that you can have a full recovery for the type of injury that Brian has.  He will have some aspects of this to deal with for the rest of his life.

Reaction from both people that asked was a look of regret, and they said "I am sorry".  I understand this reaction, and would think how difficult this would be to read if you were a parent of a child that had a recent TBI.  For that matter, any parent that thinks how horrible it would be to go thru such a thing.

However, I think   Sorry?  No need to feel sorry for us.  Our boy survived a hospice and figured out how to walk, talk and eat on his own.  He enjoys life in a much deeper way than he had before.  The boy will dance and sing  any chance he can.  He will strike up a conversation with anyone.  He is usually very respectful to others.  We have had some issues with his behavior lately when it is time for us to leave some place that he does not want to leave.  Ex:  He has so much fun at school that he does not want to go home when it is time.  He will have a fit.  We work on that, but really like that he has so much fun at things.

So No....not a full recovvery.  We adjust to a new normal.  However, we have a greater appreciation for everything that happens.

SOCCER
On Sunday, Brian practiced with an adaptive soccer team.  He played soccer before the accident, and enjoyed the game.  He played well during that season and scored a few goals.  I enjoyed watching him play and interact with the other kids.  That was exactly what I enjoyed seeing him doSunday in his practice.

He scored two goals in the scrimmage, and was very supportive of the other players on both sides.  He was disappointed when his team lost.    But - that disappointment ends quick.  The fun was in the playing.

BASEBALL
Baseball was Brian's favorite sport pre-accident.  Five months after the accident,  The Briarlake Baptists Church youth baseball league asked Brian to come and throw out the first pitch for a game.  He was an honorary member of a team.  "Coach Rusty" along with the pastor Tommy Ferrell of the church visited our house with a jersey for Brian a few weeks before the game day.  That was 2012.  In 2013, Coach Rusty invited Brian to come back for a practice.  Brian was not well enough to go to a practice with the other players.  He did not have enough energy or patience to be on his feet running around with the others for an hour.  Rusty agreed to do drills and practices with Brian after his team practiced.  Another player or two would stay and assist.   Brian was invited to a game, and batted.  He was able to get on base and score a run.  One of the other parents took a picture of Brian scoring, with a big grin on his face.    Brian practiced with Coach Rusty again this past week.  The next step is to practice with the team.  We shall see if playing a game is in the cards this year.

EXPLORING IN THE WOODS
Last Saturday,  our entire family was invited to dinner at a new family friend that we know thru our church. They have a son same age as Brian.  They are in the same Sunday school class.  As I sat on the back porch with the Dad of the family, Brian, and the boy Brian's age went exploring in the woods behind the house.  The boys little sister joined them.

I remember exploring woods behind my friends house when I was in 3rd and 4th grade in Boonville MO.  It is a very vivid memory from my childhood.  We never had parents go with us.  It was just us boys, playing, making forts, finding rock piles and just doing stuff.

Prior to last Saturday, we would never let Brian go in the woods without one of us.  His balance and his limp would have made it easy for him to fall, and gotten hurt.  Also, if he had fallen, his reaction may have been more than what a child should have to deal with.  On this night, the three kids went back, and did the same things I did as a kid.  It was a big deal to me to see Brian doing the things that kids do.   He has not been able to "just be a kid"  much in the last 2.5 years.  It is something that I appreciate when it happens.  It is happening more and more.

SOMETHING BETTER

SO back to the full recovery question.  Yes - I wish Brian had not had to go thru all this.  I wish he was playing regular soccer, ad playing a full season of baseball.  However - when he does get enjoyment from these things, I think I enjoy it more than I did pre accident.  He is truly amazing me every day.