I really needed this post in December 2011.
You see - on December 2, 2011 - my family was involved in a bad auto accident in Bulloch County Georgia. Both my sons and my father were air lifted to Memorial Hospital in Savannah. My wife, my mother, and I were all in the car as well. We were able to walk away with minor injuries.
My father and older son Ben (10 at the time) both had bad injuries. They were released from the hospital and have been made full recoveries.
Brian - (7 at the time) acquired a TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury). He was sitting in the part of the car that received the direct impact from the other vehicle. He was unconscious and pretty much unresponsive from the moment of impact. After he was airlifted, the doctors at Memorial started emergency surgery and removed a portion of his skull in order for his brain to swell up instead of down. Downward swells would have caused even worse damage in the brain stem. The stem controls breathing, and cardiac functions as well as consciousness. Damage to this part of the brain is pretty much irreversible. They had to stop the swelling quickly. He had just a matter of minutes. He survived the first night due to some well trained doctors, EMT's and a small miracle or two.
For two weeks we prayed and cried and asked for prayers and felt amazing support from all over the world. Many things happened in that two weeks - one was a request from me to our many supporters. I wanted to find some examples of people that had a similar injury to Brian - and survived and thrived.
So many people with great intentions sent stories to me. Sadly - none of them made me feel any better. They were about people that opened eyes after 2 days, or started responding after a week. They were people that, in my opinion at the time, were not as severely injured as Brian. Two weeks in, and he still wasn't moving or communicating, or showing any signs of getting better. I had done my homework. That was not good, The longer he was in a coma type state and the longer that his swelling lasted, the more likely that he would never wake up. I googled and asked for success stories.... I found none at the time that seemed relevant.
This was my 7 year old - that was playing baseball and soccer just a few weeks before the accident. The boy that made us video his pogo stick abilities. The one that was proud that he was in first place in his 1st grade class in Math Facts in a Flash in his elementary school class. I wanted him to speak and to open his eyes and just do something. Each day, meant worse news. So - when it got to day 11 and 12 - I was desperate for hope. I briefly had hope on day 13 when Brian was actually breathing on his own. Still had the incubator in, but he was not using it. That seemed like amazing news. I called Ellen, I posted it on Facebook. We were overcome with joy. Our supporters were elated. During that time I never understood why the medical professionals were not as thrilled as I was about this accomplishment. It was the neurological tests. They were still showing little signs of improvement.
An MRI was performed the next day, a test that had not been possible until that time for a number of reasons. The MRI confirmed the neurological tests. Damage to the stem was to much to overcome. Survival at that time seemed highly unlikely, but surviving with out any walking,talking, eating or consciousness was not possible. Any sort of quality of life for Brian was gone. While we got the diagnosis, Brian relapsed to a point where he needed the use of the incubator again. It was recommended that we no longer aggressively fight the issue. Comfort care was the seemingly right option at the time. On that same day, we got a second opinion. It confirmed the first. The MRI, diagnosis, recommendation, second opinion and Brian relapse all took place on December 16, 2011.
I needed this post at that time.
You see - Brian is now 12. He is in 6th grade. He is absolutely conscious, and he has been talking since February 2012 (add to that flirting with all the girls since 2014) , walking and eating on his own since May of 2012. Back in school since August of 2012. Some of the other things he has accomplished since includes snow skiing, traveling many fun places like Chicago, Charleston, Chattanooga, Nashville, Gainsville FL, Lake Seminole GA, Athens GA, New Orleans, Gatlinburg TN, beaches in Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, and Alabama. Ridden in a little plane that only holds 9 people from St. Louis to Quincy. Climbed Stone Mountain, more than once. He has gone fishing and now has a dog at home. He has gone to Disney World a few times as well as 6 Flags over GA, Universal, and water parks in many different cities. He has participated in baseball, basketball, and some soccer activities as well as going to a to a number of fun summer camps. He has taken school trips to Rock Eagle, The Little White House, Callaway Gardens, A monastery, the College football HOF, and the Fox Theater. He received a standing ovation after a speech at his elementary school graduation, He has earned merit badges with the Boy Scouts - and is excited to go camping and get to sleep on the USS Alabama in January 2017.
Our friends and family were so supportive in December 2011 and still are today. I can never thank the people that helped us thru the last 5 years enough. Lord knows I have certainly tried. In addition, we have met thousands of wonderful people since that time, many which we call friends today. They include many Doctors and Therapists at CHOA in Atlanta. They include many families with inspiring kids that have persevered in amazing ways. We have also literally met thousands of amazing college students that work hard to raise money and awareness for Children's Miracle Network with Dance Marathons at UGA, Georgia Tech and Georgia State. We have met many awesome veterans, athletes, and Rio Para-Olympians via Blaze Sports, have met many volunteers and fundraisers for Ronald McDonald Charities, we have met many people volunteering for organizations like Camp Twin Lakes, and the Walton Foundation. Certainly all the teachers Brian and Ben have had along the way deserve a gold star. We even met a celebrity or two :)
Some of the best parts are the laughs. I never knew how important laughs were in life. When Brian laughed for the first time after the accident, it was as significant to me as when he first spoke. A silly potty humor joke from his 10 year old brother. A joke that only brothers at that age can share and get away with. Today, when I hear him laugh, or when he makes me or someone else laugh - I appreciate it even more than I used to. Laughter is a time when enjoying life is at its maximum.
If I would have read this post about someone else in December 2011, it would have given me hope. Something I needed at that time. I hope that this post can help give hope to someone else someday.
For us, we always felt that God had a plan. This helped us in the darkest times. We are Catholic. We have been welcomed and prayed for in many churches and denominations. They have cried with us and and rejoiced with us at other times. We had some amazing chaplains with us starting the the moment we arrived at Memorial. To this day, we have been with priests, preachers, chaplains, and follows of Jesus Christ and believers of God giving wonderful support - regardless of the specific denomination.
It is impossible to say that ours is typical since every TBI recovery is different. If you are reading this while in the early stages of a loved ones injury, just know that all TBI's are different. It is an injury with so many variables. The journey has been hard at times. Some times difficult. Other times seemingly impossible. Since December 16, 2011 we have had many challenges. Those difficult times and challenges make the celebrations even better. They have made the laughter even sweeter. Whatever the issue, don't give up hope.
