Reflections on December 16, 2011 Prayers and Support still needed.

It is hard not to be reflectful today.  December 2 2011 was not the worst day of my life.  That took place two weeks latter on December 16.  After two weeks of surgeries, heat blankets, posturing,  breathing machines, and many other aggressive treatments, many experienced and educated doctors and nurses told Ellen and I that future treatment was pointless. Survival chances were slim, and any sort of quality of life for Brian non-existent.   Future treatment, not recommended.

How does a parent process this information?   Yep...worst day of my life.   If you are reading this, you know by know that they were wrong.  Three years latter, Brian is doing very well.  Prayers from all over the world are being answered every day.

Someone made a comment to Ellen that this December must be so much happier than that December for us.  That person is right.  However, the darkest time of those days are not that far from our memory.  The few joys from December 2011 came from all the community support we received.  We knew that people would get us anything that we needed.  I think that we never bought a meal that month and most of January.   The donations and the Statesboro concerts helped our financial needs tremendously. 

As Brian has gotten better, the amount of need we have has dwindled.   Insurance and a grant from the Georgia Brain and Spinal Injury Trust fund have covered his medical and therapy expenses.   God has kept us all strong and our faith is keeping us going.  Brian's determination has taken care of the rest.

That being said, some things are hard.  Brian has noticed that other kids see him as different.    I take pride that he is an inspiration to many folks.  To many kids his own age, well - they just do not know what to make of him.  I predict that being treated differently is something that Brian will have to deal with for some time.  He does have a number of kids that do sincerely like him and hang out with him...and that is a blessing.

Via Facebook and in person, I have seen other kids doing the things that kids do.   It is hard for Brian to do many of these things.   Playing sports, piano recitals, academic rewards at school are all things that Brian should be doing and celebrating.    He has to spend  6-8 hours a week doing therapy just to be able to walk and use his hands in a somewhat useful way.  This is in addition to school and homework.  These hours should be spent playing ball or learning a musical instrument.    Life is not fair.....  that is true.   But it is life.....and I will take that any day over the alternative.

 I have signed Brian up to play basketball in a church league.  The act of dribbling, shooting, and jumping are all things that help in his motor skills, and can assist in his therapy.  It is also another chance for him to be around kids in a structured format.  He needs a patient coach and understanding parents also on the team.   Unlike the baseball league he played it - it is with kids his own age and it will not be adapted.  He is tall enough that he should be able to rebound pretty well.  I continually pray that it is an enjoyable experience for Brian and for the other kids.  I have also signed him up for an adapted swim program with a former para-olympian through Blaze Sports.  That starts this weekend.  Main purpose is to teach him to swim in deeper water.    Finding the time for a private swim lesson for him has been a challenge.   Both basketball and swimming - will be trial and error.  Both may work, or both may be a disaster.  We are determined to keep trying things. 

On a major positive note, the Walton Foundation.  This is an organization based out of Augusta GA with a mission to promote Independence to children and adults that have a disability.  They sponsor an annual camp that Brian has attended the last two years.  They used a blurb about Brian's story in a year end fundraising campaign.    They have gotten a number of donations citing the Brian's story as the reason they gave or gave more than usual.  One of the donations was $1,000.     Brian can inspire people to do good things.  That makes me proud to be his dad.    

So moving forward....we still need support - just of a different kind.  Prayers, love, understanding, and patience are the things we continue to move forward.  Life is hard.  Life with a TBI or being a family member or caretaker of someone with a TBI is all that much more difficult.

Thank you all for your support the last three years and two weeks....and we request for future prayers and support even though the issues are considerably different,   Just knowing that people care still matters and always will.

In closing- (forgive the curse word) I saw a shirt that was designed for TBI survivors.  it says "God does not give us more than we can handle.   God must think I am a bad ass."

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year


 

6 Reasons to give Prayers from Fiji as a Christmas Present

Six Reasons to give Prayers from Fiji as a Christmas Gift

• Everyone needs a little more faith, hope, and inspiration. Prayers from Fiji gives the reader faith, hope, inspiration, and much more.    

• No need to fight the crowds.  It can be delivered to your home.  Order from EllenMurkison.com or Amazon.com.  Also available in e-books for Kindle, Nook and Apple.  

• It starts as a story of a Christmas miracle. It becomes something so much more.  

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• In giving Prayers from Fiji, you are also giving independence.   A portion of the proceeds will be donated to theWalton Foundation for Independence for every book sold by December 15, 2014 on EllenMurkison.com.  The Augusta Georgia organization hosts many activities that promote independence for disabled or injured children and adults. Brian attended Camp TBI (To Be Independent ) in 2013 and 2014.  He is already excited about camp in 2015.  Camp TBI is sponsored by the Walton Foundation.  ​

• Give a personalized Autographed Copy.  Any book purchased by December 15, 2014 thru EllenMurkison.com will be autographed by Ellen, Ben, Brian, and David Murkison.  All you have to do is list the book recipient in the notes section on PayPal when checking out. 

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• Strong Reviews from readers.  Those that have read Prayers from Fiji have had very positive reviews.     One reviewer said "Incredible story! It is sure to inspire you to believe in miracles and the power of prayer!"  You can see others at the Amazon.com review page.

 Buy your copy today.

EllenMurkison.com

Ellen's Post from Caring Bridge today Aug 13

Prayers from Fiji is finally a reality

By Ellen Murkison — 1 hour ago

Greetings to any of you still following this site!  The past nine months have been tremendous not only for Brian and his recovery, but for our family as well.  If our number of journals initially reflected anything it was of the need we had for prayers and support from the many of you following this story.  So it only makes sense that as our life has returned to such a level of normalcy that we don't write much.  In fact, this may be one of our very last Caring Bridge updates, but I will get to more information about that later.

Brian and Ben returned to school this week.  It was staggeringly unremarkable.  In fact, it was so normal, so typical, I can't say much more about it.  They started school.  How different my blog post from two years ago was, when every step Brian took was packed with emotion and meaning to us, and how we watched in trepidation and concern as Ben began a new adventure in middle school (a tough period of the school experience pretty much universally).  Both of them have grown and matured so much in the two years since then, and while not every aspect of school is easy, we have been able to enjoy a much more relaxed start this time around.

Beginning about six months after our accident it became a goal of mine to write a book to share the amazing story that our family had just gone through.  Many of you suggested this to me, in your comments on this page and otherwise, and I felt a calling in my heart.  I had never held a deep seated desire to write the great American novel, or really to write anything more than journals or items for my work.  It was not something that I even knew if I could do to begin with, and I considered it pretty likely that I would fail!  But something wouldn't let me let go of the idea that it was what I was MEANT to be doing.

So two years ago shortly after Brian was able to return to school for the first time, I started to write our story.  As much progress as he had made by then, I thought I was ready, or at least gave it a try.  Maybe three attempts into writing and I had to stop.  It was like reliving the worst nightmare of a parent’s life, and it threw me into an emotional downward spiral.  Combined with a tough period in Brian’s emotional recovery, it was all just too much.  I quit.  Though I sometimes told people I was “going” to write a book, I didn’t touch the project again for months.

In January of that next year I was able to spend some time with a friend who is a professor of English and she gave me some advice on how to construct a plan for the book.  Speaking with her energized me and I developed a chapter arc and wrote summaries of various chapters that I thought I wanted to write.  Wow - maybe I could do this!  But when I would open the document holding these chapter ideas, all I did was stare at the screen.  I felt the familiar sense of procrastination settle over me.  I got advice from my therapist on how to overcome the power of avoiding, and how to just go ahead and write a little something each day….and did the opposite of that advice.  I quit for the second time.  I mean, who did I think I was?  I can’t write a book.  Even if I did, no one would want to read it.  The little voices in my head won out...for a while.

Fast forward to August.  Another school year began, this time we had an expectation that both boys were going to be able to handle the year, and in fact, they both had much better experiences with teachers and in their respective environments almost right away.  I was also ready to begin new challenges in my own life, and put a lot of work into myself.  I began to devote time each day to meditation and quiet.  I worked on my lifestyle and eating choices, and eventually shed almost twenty-five pounds.  I took on a regular volunteer position teaching English as a Second Language to refugees with a local organization.  And suddenly….I couldn’t stop writing.

Even with all the extra activities I found myself doing, I spent time almost every day writing.  The words flowed out of me.  Entire chapters I hadn’t even considered were suddenly clear in my mind, and I just sat down at the computer and out the words came.  I did eventually have to re-live some of the worst moments of my life, but my emotional and spiritual health had become so strengthened, that I was able to endure it.  The tears I cried as I wrote were cathartic.  After nearly two years of our new reality, I was finally ready to share this story with others, and by doing so, it helped me appreciate the beauty of it all the more.  From detailing the first hours following the accident, to interpreting what lessons I had found, I know that God was leading me to express myself for the benefit of others.  Yes, it was a way to chronicle for us (and especially for the boys to read later in life) the events that occurred as I remember them.  But it was more than that.  

That feeling I had to begin with, that calling...it was not my plan that I do this, it was God’s.  My gratitude to him for all he has done for our family can never be repaid by my attempts.  But I do feel it was the best way I could at least try to honor what incredible gifts he gave,and continues to give, us to make the book a reality.

Fast forward to January again, and this time, David and I were meeting with a publisher here in Atlanta, and making the decision to move forward with publishing an actual book.  The editing and design process continued all spring, and into the summer.  Finally in mid-June, I held in my hand an actual copy of my first book, Prayers from Fiji: A Story of Courage, Faith and Brotherly Love.  It felt like a dream!  Was this really happening?  The long journey of telling this story had reached a turning point, and I felt so many emotions: gratitude for having been given the inspiration to write, pride in the format and flow of the book, and amazement that this terrible circumstance in our lives could have turned out instead to be such an amazing miracle that we could share with others.  How fortunate could I be?  

So now the next step in this journey awaits...I do not know how many people will ultimately want to read this book, or if it will be a success in the publishing world. And I am OK with that.  What I was led to do, I did.  What I felt compelled to write, I wrote.  I offer it to the world now but I cannot do more than believe that whatever is meant to happen with it will happen.  If I can say I have learned anything from this entire experience it is that God often has much bigger plans for us than we can plan for ourselves.  So I leave the details to him, and say with certainty, all is well.

I also want to continue to write, and have decided to use a different platform to do so.  You are invited to continue to follow our story by following our blog on www.EllenMurkison.com.  Thank you all for your amazing support, love and faith through this entire experience.  Our family is intact, growing, healing and strengthening every day, thanks to you.

Prayers from Fiji is available on our website, www.PrayersfromFiji.com, on Amazon.com and Shop.BookLogix.com.

photo by Lori Grice

A Reading Accomplishment

Proud moment.  A trophy and two certificates

In early November of 2011, our family met Jeff Kinney.  He is the author of the popular Diary of a Wimpy Kid books.  He had a book signing in Decatur GA as part of the launch of Cabin Fever.  We bought the book and Brian read the entire thing on the drive from Atlanta to Illinois for Thanksgiving.  He was proud of his reading accomplishment. I recall him bragging about the completion to pretty much everyone that he saw.

One of the first post accident videos we posted was of Brian reading and doing simple math.  It was a huge deal.   We knew that if he was able to talk, read and do math that he still could have further cognitive recovery.   It was just a few weeks prior to this that we were preparing for Brian to never even be conscious again.   Reading a simple word like "wow" was gigantic.  It was a reading accomplishment that meant so much.  

Fast forward to today (May 22,2014).  Evansdale Elementary School had Honors Day.  Brian took home 2 certificates and a trophy.  The trophy was for the Literary Guild.  In order to get it, Brian had to read and pass an AR test on 27 total book from 17 categories.  Some examples:

• From Adventure, Brian read Turtle in Paradise  (Dad helped pick that one out - it is about Key West)
• From Classic Literature:  Brian read Five Chinese Brothers
• From Family/ Friends Theme he read The Mouse and the Motorcycle
• From a Georgia Awards Category Brian read Stinky Cheese Man - He loved that title
• A Classic Animal book was The Tale of Peter Rabbit
• From Folk and Ferry, he read St. George and the Dragon.  (This had additional meaning since St. George is the Patron Saint of Scouting.  Brian is now a Webalo Scout.  )  

He read 21 more 3rd grade books from 11 more LG categories. He also got a head start for next year by reading two books that qualify for 4th grade LG.  These are not the only books he read this year.  He successfully read and passed tests for 62 Accelerated Reader books. One of his certificates was a 100% AR Goal completion.  If it were not for ice days and the CRCT, I am sure he would have had more books. His other certificate was a Citizenship Award. 

When his name was called to come forward for the LG  trophy he raised it in the air and celebrated.  I am very proud of him getting this.  We had to give him a lot of nudging along the way.  It was worth it. He did it. He was very proud of his new reading accomplishment.  He pretty much told everyone he saw.  Just like when he finished the Jeff Kinney book.

With Special Ed Teacher Ms Wilt and Para Pro Ms Middlebrook  

With his teacher MsMcCullum

Proud Mom

Training + Determination = Inspiration + PT and OT

Running a Race

Start of Evansdale Run for Fun

In 2011, Brian completed three 5K races. The final one was a Turkey trot 8 days before the accident. This weekend, he finished the 2014 Evansdale 5K Run for Fun.  He completed a few shorter races since the accident.  This hilly 5K was inspirational for Ellen and I to see.  In 2012 Brian participated in the 1K portion of the race.  He was in the wheelchair and finished the race on foot with help from his mom.   In 2013 - he walked the 1K in a rainstorm and finished it with his Grandma and Grandpa Laffey.

At 3 Mile Mark with Grandma Murkison

Brian at Finish of Evansdale Run for Fun

A number of people that were present at the 2012 and 2013 race were at the finish line of 2014.  I know it was inspiring to others.  How can it not be?  I have a video clip from 2014 here.

Preparing for any race takes training and determination.  I knew that Brian could do it physically. He barely broke a sweat.  Him wanting to do it was the challenge.  The reward for training is doing well in the race.  That has not always been an easy motivational tool.  It is not easy, that is why you do it.  At the finish, he got plenty of congrats from teachers, family, and parents of other children. His brother gave him a water bottle shower on his head at the finish line in celebration.

Brian had many other kids come and congratulate him at the finish.  That was the highlight for me.  Hopefully recognition from his peers will motivate him to train more in the future.


Baseball

In the Outfield

Scoring a run

Brian has participated with a baseball league at Briarlake Baptist Church again this year. He played in one game and one practice so far.  He did get some hits in the game, and scored a run.  That is what he remembers and what is fun for him. By participating gets free OT (Occupational Therapy) that comes from playing baseball helps him.  The process of holding a bat with both hands and swinging it helps many of the hand and arm muscles that he has worked for hours with his specialists.  Just putting on a baseball glove on his left hand has stretched his hand out in ways that his Therapists, his Electric Stimulus, and his at home Therapists (aka Ellen) do all the time.

With Coach Rusty

The practice also helps him learn how to be a part of a team.   If his team (The Cubs) scores a run, that is good even if he is out. He has learned to encourage his team mates.  In the game he played he started smash talking the other team after he scored.  Deservedly so, coach Rusty fussed at him for that.  I liked to see his ambition, but the "you are going down" to the Briarlake "Braves" was a bit much.  He took the coaches comments well. Life lessons.  



Turner Field

Watching the Atlanta Braves

In 2012, we got some tickets to an Atlanta Braves game.  They were actually a gift from the Briarlake Baseball team that year.  We went on to a hot Fathers Day day game.   Brian was barely walking by that time. We had to get a transport from the gate to our seat.  The noise, the crowd, the temperature, and all the lights from the scoreboard made for a not so fun time for Brian. At the time we tried almost anything to see how it would go. Lookingback, we tried bringing rian to the Turner field to soon.   In September of 2012 we went back to another Sunday afternoon game. It went much better.  Ben and Brian had a great run the bases at Turner Field that day.    This year Brian won some tickets with Superior Plumbing.  Thanks to all that voted. Walking from the parking lot to the gate up many stairs to the seats were no problem at all.   We were at the game from start to finish. The lights and the large crowd were part of the fun.   It was a night game so we were out later than usual that night.  The Braves beat the Reds 4-1. This link will show you that Brian made it to the end.  The post game celebration was fun.

Soccer

I blogged about soccer before.  Running and kicking and learning new skills in the name of fun has been great.  Running, stretching, and bending are important Physical Therapy activities.  Learning to get up when you get knocked down is even more important.

Spring Break 2014

Epcot

We do not appear to be a family that goes someplace and stays in that place.  I sometimes wonder what going to a beach for a week (5-6 days in a row) would be like.  I think we would get restless and have to move on after day 4.  Spring Break 2011:  We had a crazy whirl wind trip to Arizona.  I called my Facebook photo album "How to see Arizona in one week.".  We went as far north as the Grand Canyon and as far south as Tombstone.  Also saw many sights in the Phoenix area.  One week.  I think that was the biggest "Play Hard" family trip ever.  Spring Break 2014 rivals it.  In addition to the fun, it is also a tale in getting better and persevering.    Breaking it down:

Daytona:

In 2010, I got the boys out of school early and headed to Florida to watch one of the last Space Shuttle launches.  Ellen could not make it due to work obligations.  I found a room on the AAA guide in Daytona Beach.  That was not far from a viewing area, and would give us something to do if the launch was scrubbed.  The place I found was the Sun Viking Lodge.   It is ocean front, indoor pool. and outdoor pool as well as a 60 foot water slide. We enjoyed the resort, but did not spend much time at it since we had an entire day near the Kennedy Space Center to watch the launch.   

In 2011, shortly after we made the decision to move from Statesboro to Atlanta, the boys and I went again, for the purpose of spending time at the resort.  It became a Murkison guys place to go.  The resort has many types of accommodations, but we always got the most economic, most rustic.  In describing the place to Ellen, I painted it as a non-desirable place to go.  (Ex:  It has a statue of a viking at the front, and no coffee makers in the room.  Plus, the beach has auto traffic - and that made it a little more stressful to actually go to the beach.)   Though all of that was true, teh boys and I had a great time both trips.  

The 60 foot slide was Brian's favorite.  He had asked about going back many times.  Of course, a period of time went by when going down any sort of water slide into a pool of water was in doubt.  The resort was considerably further from Atlanta than it was from Statesboro, so for all those reasons, we did not go back in 2012 or 2013.  

Spring Break 2014 was our triumphant return.  We did upgrade to a suite with a kitchen (and a coffee maker).  It is a great place to meet other families, and is set up well for community building.  One thing Brian loves to do is to talk to new people.  He had some long conversations with kids and adults at the hot tub and at the pool.  We did do some beach time, but the waves were a bit to strong for Brian.   Ben and I spent a long time body surfing, and had to take a long walk back to the resort after the current pushed us north up the beach.  

The 60 foot water slide was a beloved by Ben and Brian.  Ben determined how many times he needed to go down it in order to say that he went a mile down it.  He easily accomplished that goal.  

The pools were open pretty late.  It gave time to play games in the pool - that also served as PT for Brian.  He also worked on swimming in the deeper ends of the pool.  A noodle is still needed, but he has made a lot of progress with his comfort level in the pool.  

A happy 9 year old, coming down the slide at Sun Viking Lodge

They have poolside and beach side activities planned during the day.  They also have a basketball hoop set up for when you want some non-water time.  An arcade with a Wii that can be played when people want to get away from the sun was also taken advantage of.

We had a balcony with a great view of the ocean.  I planned to sit on the balcony with Ellen gazing at the moonlight on the ocean in the evenings after the kids went to sleep.  However - with all the activities, we were all pretty much going to bed pretty late.  No romantic gazing was in the cards.  Ben asked me to wake him so we could watch the sunrise from the balcony.  Keep in mind, at home - Ben would stay in bed until 11 am if we let him.  He has started the stay up late, sleep in teenage mentality.  So when he asked me to wake him for the sunrise, I happily did.  He and I some great quality time that morning.  The sunrise was a bit of a bust since clouds prevented viewing it.  The company was quality.

Having a kitchen and grill around the resort made was great.  We did not have to go out to eat at all during our tie in Daytona.

Ben and Brian contemplating life over a drinking yogurt 

Orlando

So we got up Tuesday morning and did some pool time at Sun Viking Lodge.  We knew that bad weather was coming, so we wanted to get some water time in while we had the chance.  We than had to say goodbye to the new families we had just met and packed the car.   Brian was convinced that he has just had a vacation romance with a little girl he had met.  We reminded him that he was only nine years old.      

The stormy weather hit when we were about halfway to Orlando.  Glad it was not interrupting our fun, but hated driving in it.    Our first stop was the JW Mariott Resort. We didn't actually stay at this resort, just visited.  They were hosting a conference that much of my office was attending.  We also had some friends that now live in Minnesota that were also visiting because of the conference.  I actually went and checked out a little of the conference.  Ellen and the boys hung out with the Minnesota Smyth family.  To piggy back on my post from April 1, Ellen allowed Brian to do something that seemed unthinkable just a few months ago.  She let Brian and Ben explore the resort with the two Smyth Boys (14 and 10).    Granted, all three of the other boys are very responsible, and that certainly helped ease concerns.  The Marriott was swank.

After we checked into our resort we came back to pick the Smyth's back up and headed to dinner at a greek restaurant called Taverna Opa.    All I can say is ohh my.  Opa it is.  The  food was great, and the greek music blasting throughout the restaurant was awesome.  However, the highlight was the belly dancer.

Brian has no inhibitions and loves to dance.  So, when the belly dancer comes to our table looking for anyone to dance with, he jumps right up.  The other three boys wanted nothing to do with her.   Ben- in his brotherly way, was hiding his face.   The dancer spent a lot of time with the boy.  He loved the attention.  He loves dancing, so this was a perfect combo for him.  Have you ever danced with a belly dancer?   Well, I know someone that has.

Taverna Opa.  Brian and belly dancer

Disney  

I never thought that we would become a Disney family.  In fact, Ellen and I said we had banned Disney due to an experience we had right after we started dating.  That was 1997.  We went back when Ben was 3 in 2004 to see my brother in a triathlon.  Also, trips in 2009, 2012, and now 2014 have changed our views. Throw in a trip to Universal in 2013, and we are somewhat hooked on amusement parks.

This time, we stayed in Disney All-Star Movies Resort.  We have taken advantage of the Magic Hours by staying at Disney Resorts.  This allows early access or after hours access to certain parks.   This year, they let you schedule your fast passes in advance, so it is easier to plan your day.  We also won some Park Hopper passes in an auction for Evansdale Foundation event. The idea of doing multiple parks in one day seemed like to much, even in the best of times.

In 2012 - we came as part of our December to remember time celebrating the month that one year early was in hospitals and hospices.  Brian was in a transport wheelchair.  Staying on his feet all day would have made for a very short day.  We did just Epcot that trip.  The day finished with a Holiday Musical Concert hosted by Amy Grant.    It seemed like a long day.  Brian was not able to enjoy the concert, and was pretty much ready to go before it had started.  That made it a little difficult on us as well.  It was a great time, but not magical.  

At Animal Kingdom

Well, we used our park hopper on Wednesday.  8:00 am magic hours at Animal Kingdom, taking the safari tour, and the Expedition Everest as well as the dinosaur rider all before the crowds got to big.  We did a number of other rides, and decided to move on to Hollywood Studios.  The Indiana Jones show, Star Wars Ride, were enjoyed by all.  Brian and I went to the American Idol Show while Ellen and Ben did the Hollywood Tower of Terror.  We also watched some of the other shows and did the Toy Story ride/ game.  

After a quick break at the resort, we headed back to Epcot.  After we made it in, we had to walk halfway thru the park, and than hop on a boat and take it to Morocco. We had dinner reservations at Epcot's Restaurant Marrakeesh.  We arrived right on time.  

Yet again, a belly dancer came out.  She invited all the kids to come up.  This time, Ben joined the kids. This YouTube clip shows the fun.   

The wait staff sang happy birthday to Ben - and put a Fez on his head.  In fact, Ben had on a button that said it was his Birthday. He enjoyed all the attention as well.  His birthday was the following week but it is ok to celebrate a week early at Disney.  

After dinner, we rode some of the rides in the Mexico area as well as Norway, and staked out a viewing point for the Illuminations, Reflections of Earth.  A cool laser show over lake around the World Showcase.   Our day at Epcot ended around 9:30 pm. We had to get ready for the next day.  

Thursday was just Magic Kingdom.  We were at the park on the 50th anniversary of the deput of the song "It's a Small World After All."  We saw a choir singing the song as we walked in, and latter found out that they were on GMA as a collage of choirs signing the song around the world.  Pretty cool.   We also spent much of our day with the Smyths, as they were at the Magic Kingdom  We did all the rides- Space Mountain, the Race Track, It's a Small World, the Carousel , Pirates of the Caribbean, Runaway Mine Train, Magic Carpet Ride,  the Dumbo Ride, and the train around the park.    We also saw the Monsters Inc Talent Show, that is one of Brian's favorites, mine also.  We missed Splash Mountai.  It was closed for repairs at the tie we were scheduled to ride it.

We went on the Swiss Family Robinson ride - if you can call it that.  It is a tree house, with steps up to three stories to see a fictitious working tree house.   Also served as PT to a point.  That would have been a prime example of something that we could not have done in 2012.  We watched the heavily promoted Disney Festival of Fantasy Parade.  We parted ways with the Smyths in the afternoon.  They had to travel back to Minnesota and 2-3 feet of snow.  It was good to see them.  

We started at 8 am, and finally left after 4 pm. After our last ride, we went back to the resort, and Ben and I had plans to return to Magic Kingdom, but we happily changed our mind and chilled at the resort.  We were all so tired, we could barely walk.  Well, all except Brian.  

They set up a giant screen that eventually showed a Disney Movie by the pool.  Before the show, they had a Wii set up with Just Dance.  And Brian grabbed a remote, and played along.  Eventually it got a little cool, so Ellen made Brian come back for a jacket.  I went back to the screen with Brian at that point.  The boy was running...RUNNING to get back to dance some more.  My feet were in pain, but if Brian was running after 4 Disney parks in two days, I better catch up.   After a few rounds of \Just Dance, they started Little Mermaid.  I sat behind Brian in a pool chair, as he sat with a new friend.  Eventually, the tiredness hit him, and he was ready to go. 

Friday morning - chilling and playing at the Disney Pool.  Also - at the gift shop in the lobby of the resort, setup a music player.  The cast members (what Disney calls its employees)  were doing different line dances, and invited the crowd. For the fourth day in a row, Brian got to dance just because.   Friday morning I was able to catch up with my former theater director.  He works at Disney now.  We have never been able to catch up with him in our previous visits.   It was nice to see him this time.   

Brian and Ben have had to grow up in many ways in the last few years.  It is nice to see them able to act like kids.  No place better to do that than Disney.  This may be why we are drawn to Disney now.  Everyone can act like kids and it is ok.   

Statesboro:

Ahh Statesboro.  We actually spent a night in the 'boro on the way down to Daytona.  We spent 2 nights on the way back.  We caught up with some friends and family.  In addition, we went to the Georgia Southern Art Fest, went to the Eagle spring football game, and went to the rodeo.  A Saturday in Statesboro means a trip to the farmers market.  It is the place to be on a Saturday Morning.

The Rodeo was fun.  Ben and Brian did a round on the mechanical bull.  The bull riding in the fences by the real cowboys seemed to be a little more difficult than the bull Ben and Brian rode.   

Church on Sunday at St. Mathews Parrish in Statesboro, and a return trip home.  

Brian and Grandpa at the rodeo

Grandma with her cowboys.  Nice hat Ben

One last Surprise:

Once back in Atlanta, we had a bit of a surprise.  We had dinner with Ben's god mother Andrea Pinto.  He had not seen her since he was 8 months old.   She lives in Quito Ecuador.  She was in Atlanta on a work trip.  So- an exhausting but rewarding experience.  We are already planning our next trip.  Happy travels all.

Ben and his Godmother Andrea Pinto from Quito Ecuador.

A Full Recovery? Something better.

Brian and some of the other players and coaches in the Adaptive Soccer Practice

Two separate people on two consecutive days last week asked if my son has had a full recovery.  The people were well intentioned in both cases.  This is not a question I get often, but it happens.  That it happened twice in the span of 24 hours got me thinking.   How do you answer that?

Is Brian the same boy that he was Fall of 2011 - before the accident?   No.  Has he recovered physically and cognitively all of the same abilities he had before the accident?  No.  Will he ever?  it is hard to say no, because he continues to make progress in those areas so much.  Truth is, many things will continue to be physically and cognitively hard for him for some time to come.

My answer to the question about a full recovery was as follows.  I don;t think that you can have a full recovery for the type of injury that Brian has.  He will have some aspects of this to deal with for the rest of his life.

Reaction from both people that asked was a look of regret, and they said "I am sorry".  I understand this reaction, and would think how difficult this would be to read if you were a parent of a child that had a recent TBI.  For that matter, any parent that thinks how horrible it would be to go thru such a thing.

However, I think   Sorry?  No need to feel sorry for us.  Our boy survived a hospice and figured out how to walk, talk and eat on his own.  He enjoys life in a much deeper way than he had before.  The boy will dance and sing  any chance he can.  He will strike up a conversation with anyone.  He is usually very respectful to others.  We have had some issues with his behavior lately when it is time for us to leave some place that he does not want to leave.  Ex:  He has so much fun at school that he does not want to go home when it is time.  He will have a fit.  We work on that, but really like that he has so much fun at things.

So No....not a full recovvery.  We adjust to a new normal.  However, we have a greater appreciation for everything that happens.

SOCCER
On Sunday, Brian practiced with an adaptive soccer team.  He played soccer before the accident, and enjoyed the game.  He played well during that season and scored a few goals.  I enjoyed watching him play and interact with the other kids.  That was exactly what I enjoyed seeing him doSunday in his practice.

He scored two goals in the scrimmage, and was very supportive of the other players on both sides.  He was disappointed when his team lost.    But - that disappointment ends quick.  The fun was in the playing.

BASEBALL
Baseball was Brian's favorite sport pre-accident.  Five months after the accident,  The Briarlake Baptists Church youth baseball league asked Brian to come and throw out the first pitch for a game.  He was an honorary member of a team.  "Coach Rusty" along with the pastor Tommy Ferrell of the church visited our house with a jersey for Brian a few weeks before the game day.  That was 2012.  In 2013, Coach Rusty invited Brian to come back for a practice.  Brian was not well enough to go to a practice with the other players.  He did not have enough energy or patience to be on his feet running around with the others for an hour.  Rusty agreed to do drills and practices with Brian after his team practiced.  Another player or two would stay and assist.   Brian was invited to a game, and batted.  He was able to get on base and score a run.  One of the other parents took a picture of Brian scoring, with a big grin on his face.    Brian practiced with Coach Rusty again this past week.  The next step is to practice with the team.  We shall see if playing a game is in the cards this year.

EXPLORING IN THE WOODS
Last Saturday,  our entire family was invited to dinner at a new family friend that we know thru our church. They have a son same age as Brian.  They are in the same Sunday school class.  As I sat on the back porch with the Dad of the family, Brian, and the boy Brian's age went exploring in the woods behind the house.  The boys little sister joined them.

I remember exploring woods behind my friends house when I was in 3rd and 4th grade in Boonville MO.  It is a very vivid memory from my childhood.  We never had parents go with us.  It was just us boys, playing, making forts, finding rock piles and just doing stuff.

Prior to last Saturday, we would never let Brian go in the woods without one of us.  His balance and his limp would have made it easy for him to fall, and gotten hurt.  Also, if he had fallen, his reaction may have been more than what a child should have to deal with.  On this night, the three kids went back, and did the same things I did as a kid.  It was a big deal to me to see Brian doing the things that kids do.   He has not been able to "just be a kid"  much in the last 2.5 years.  It is something that I appreciate when it happens.  It is happening more and more.

SOMETHING BETTER

SO back to the full recovery question.  Yes - I wish Brian had not had to go thru all this.  I wish he was playing regular soccer, ad playing a full season of baseball.  However - when he does get enjoyment from these things, I think I enjoy it more than I did pre accident.  He is truly amazing me every day.

Roly Poly saved my life: St. Patrick's Day 2004.

Roly Poly has great wraps.  March 17, 2004 these tasty wraps saved my life.   

OK.....Saying that Roly Poly saved my life in 2004 may be a bit of a stretch.   Roly Poly is a restaurant that serves wrap sandwiches.   Ellen and I moved to Savannah in the fall of 1999.  Ellen and I had lunch at the Savannah Roly Poly on Barnard St. in Savannah.   We made it a part of our tradition to eat at that Roly Poly every St. Patrick's day from 2000 to 2009 when the owners decided to close in order participate in the parade.    2004 was no exception.

The Savannah St. Patrick's day cerebration is one of the largest in the country.  The party scene during the festival are legendary and bring's a ton of tourists to town.  The party scene on river street for Ellen and I was never to much of the story. After the first year kids came into the picture.  The desire for the River Street crazies were limited.  They were not completely eliminated, just limited.  Reflection of the partying would be appropriate for a different blog.

St. Patrick's Day parade accident in Savannah in 2004

THE PARADE
Even with the partying, the parade is the biggest draw.  The grand marshal for the parade is elected a month before and is usually the lead story on the local news.  The real estate on the parade route is premium. The historic squares on the fill up early.  Sleeping overnight on the squares is prohibited. The day of the parade, people line up in the early morning and wait until 6:00 am when a horn is blown and people run, claim, and mark off spots for their friends and family Tents are set up and the parade does not even start for 4 more hours.  I know some families that have done this for years.

In 2004, Our friends invited us to Wright Square.  Ben was one month shy of being three years old.  Ellen was pregnant with Brian.  We had just started telling people that she was pregnant.  In fact, that morning was the first time we told our friends.  The spot we had in the square was a nice grassy area, but it was a little hard for Ben to view the parade due to some shrubs.  Easy to view for a grown up, but not for a 2 year old.  We were prepared.  We brought Ben's wagon, and had a bag chair placed on top of it.  It was secure enough, that we felt comfortable putting Ben in the chair if we were beside him.  He enjoyed the floats and the bands and drummers.  It was warm that day, and at times he would get tired of watching and just want to run around on the grassy square.  In front of the shrub parade watchers 2-3 deep lined the parade route.  So Ben had a great view over the shrubs, and over the folks that had seats on the other side of the shrub.  The parade route was such that it was coming straight towards us and took a left to go around the square.  It is a LOOONG parade.  Four hours at least.  It was a perfect sunny and warm day. The flowers were  in bloom, the fountains dyed green, and the day was starting off perfect.

Two hours in, and we were hungry.  We took our planned walk to Roly Poly.  It was only a few blocks from Wright Square.  Getting out of the sun and the crowd for a few minutes was a nice break.  The plan was to get our wraps, and come and eat sitting in the grassy area.

1996 Chrysler Sebring Ran thru the Crowd in 2004 Parade.  Ran over chairs that we had been siting in.    

THE ACCIDENT:
The streets between the parade route and the Roly Poly were all closed to vehicles.   Pedestrians only. When we were coming back to our spot with our wraps, Ben jumped on and off the curve.  It was not a big deal. He was easily within reach of me and was not going to go anywhere.   A stranger that was walking away from the parade route told me that I should be careful with him because a car just ran into the crowd.  It took me some time to process that.  I asked him to explain what he was talking about.  He said that a car that was carrying people in the parade just run into the crowd.  We noticed a somewhat mass exodus from the route at that time.

I told Ellen to watch Ben and I ran a little toward the route to see what happened.  Police and medics had already arrived.   A 1996 Chrysler Sebring Convertible was now parked in the grassy area where our friends had been sitting when we left.  I was blocked from going to the sight itself, and first thing I did was look for our group of friends.  Nowhere to be found.

I went back and found Ellen and Ben.  I had told them what I saw.  We walked back together and eventually one of our friends had found us and pulled us over to where they had all congregated after the accident.  The only injury our friends had was a cut hand.  Apparently they thought that someone was under the car, so a group of people were trying to lift it until they determined that nobody was in harms way.  Our friend cut his hand in assisting in the rescue.

After a few minutes of watching the police and medics,  the same friend that had the cut hand told me to look at a spot in the shrub a few feet from where the car had gone thru.  It was the chair we had set up for Ben.  The chair had been knocked away by the car and must have flown 4-5 feet and landed in a different part of the shrub.

No words can be typed to express the feeling that I felt when I recognized the chair.  We had dodged a bullet, or better yet, a Sebring.

Thank God for the Roly Poly Tradition.

After a while, the parade was re routed and Ben wanted to see more of it.   We found a side on the new route.  Ben wanted to hear more drums and see more bands.  We stayed way outside of the flow of the parade traffic the rest of the parade.

REFLECTION
Ambulances brought 10 people to the hospital.  No fatalities.  One injury that was pretty serious.   The driver claimed that the accelerator to the vehicle stuck.  Law suites were settled with the manufacturer and the driver.

The AJC had a picture of the Sebring on the front page of the paper.  The accident made national news.  It was also one of the top stories of 2004 according to WTOC news and is listed as part of the history of St. Patrick's Day in Savannah.

The car hit a drummer and  went thru the crowd of people sitting in front of the shrubbery.  In my mind, we would have had enough time to get Ben out of the way before it knocked the chair and the wagon that he was sitting on over.  I often wonder if I would of froze in shock while it was happening had we been on Wright Square at the time.  I will always wonder.  We never had to find out.

In my job in Savannah, Wright Square was often a short cut for me to run errands or go out to lunch.  I could never go thru the square again without the image of the Sebring.  I went back to other St. Patrick's Day Parades after this incident, but we avoided Wright Square.  

WTOC Story
http://www.wtoc.com/story/2745316/wtoc-this-year-saint-patricks-day-parade-accident

Savannah Morning News Story / Archive from 3/18/2004
http://savannahnow.com/stories/031804/LOC_stpwreck.shtml

Was a great grassy area to watch the parade until the accident in 2004.

Wright Square in 2011.  The car went straight thru the shrub.